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Training 1

In the following, different examples of destructive messages are shown. Observe your communicative behavior daily for a week. Each time you use one of the following expressions when talking with your child draw a line just behind this sentence.

Commanding, ordering

– You have to…
– Come on, get ready…
– Say hello…
– Do behave…

Scolding, admonishing, threatening

– You always do…
– You never do…
– If you don‘t…, then…
– When do you finally…
– How often do I have to tell you that…

Moralizing

– We would have been so proud of you, but now we are disappointed, because you didn‘t…
– Mommy is really sad because you are so nasty.
– There are thousands of hungry children who would like to eat this.
– Once a liar, always a liar…

Giving advice and comparing

– If I were you, I would…
– The parents of other kids would…
– Your sister always tidies up her room.
– Everybody agrees to this. But you….