Alas, such a topic cannot be simply avoided or «silenced away». Human communication functions according to certain rules. Among others, one of these rules stipulates that we cannot not communicate. Read here more about the foundations of human communication…
Silence is therefore also a message. In this case, you communicate (although expressed non-verbally): «we don’t talk about and have no words for corporeality. Whatever you feel and would like to know about your body, it is up to you to find out by yourself.» This message may, in the long-term, disrupt the trusting relationship between you and your son. Sooner or later, Dennis will find out that in films, advertising or among friends, the topic of sexuality is indeed very much discussed. He might feel that he was not taken seriously or even betrayed by his parents who did not want to discuss this subject with him.
Thus, Dennis obtains information about the subject from other sources which are beyond the absolute control of his parents and they are unable to find out exactly what he knows and does not know about the subject of sexuality.
Sexual development is language development as well.
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In discussing the parts of the body with your children, you impart them with words which enable them to talk about this aspect of life. If children learn to talk about the body and genitalia in an entirely natural fashion, it also facilitates the conversation about sexuality. Thus children acquire little by little a vocabulary to express their own questions, feelings and needs in pertinent language. In so doing, they become more competent for their later life, as those who can express themselves well are more successful in obtaining what they want.
You should also discuss descriptions and words which your children may bring home from school. Since children’s vocabulary pertaining to the body and sexuality develops over time, not every apparent vulgarity voiced by your child should be considered as a sign of immediate provocation and brutalization. Categorize vulgar expressions such as «fucking» with your children and provide them with terms that you would rather use.
