Establishing rules together

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Establishing rules together²

A general prohibition of media use (internet, television, smart phone, etc.) is not advisable and probably not strictly implementable. The media are part of our daily life and offer, among risks, also many benefits, such as learning opportunities, contacts with friends, play and fun, information, enlightenment, and thus contribute to the foundation of our democratic societies.

Therefore, it is important to agree on common rules for media use. These rules are set forth in a joint agreement, which is easily accessible to everyone (e.g. affixed to the door of the refrigerator). Include your teenagers in the discussion of the following points. Negotiate a common position and record it in writing. The possible consequences of any particular rule violation should also be captured in writing. Like any other contract, this media agreement must be signed by all parties and include the place and date.

Specifically, what would such a contract look like? Here, you will find a sample contract for smart phone use.

In what follows,
you will find the topics set forth in the contract and derived in a commonly defined form:

• Time frame: How much time do you spend daily or weekly with media consumption (especially meaningful with older children). Try to differentiate as follows, if possible:
  • Printed media
  • Surfing the internet
  • Playing (using the internet/with electronic devices)
  • Talking on the phone with friends/relatives
  • Chatting with friends/relatives
  • Watching films or videos
• Data protection:
  • Refrain from carelessly disclosing your own personal data
  • Only pass on private data, like photos, to trusted known persons. First, always consider: will you perhaps be annoyed later about the content? If doubtful, refrain from publishing/passing such data on.
  • Only create and pass on data of others (e.g. photos, videos, etc.) with the express consent of these persons.
  • Only switch on location services (e.g. GPS), Bluetooth or NFC (Near Field Communication) when needed.
• Mobile phone:
  • Covering costs: Who pays how much for what?
  • App installation and administration: who is responsible?
  • Unlock codes and settings for the protection of children and young persons: install together and verify from time to time to determine if the settings are still appropriate.
  • Agree on cellphone free times/places and respect institutions like churches, hospitals, etc.
• Internet:
  • Use and frequently change adequate passwords.
  • When using content derived from the internet: discuss the protection of intellectual property with your child in age-appropriate terms, as well as how to properly attribute the sources in homework assignments and presentations.
  • Regularly verify together your privacy settings with messenger services and social networks.
  • Observe copyright laws: do not disseminate content like music, videos, etc., which normally cost money.
  • Internet rip-offs: Should your children have been duped with rip-offs (e.g. unintentional purchase or subscription), do not blame them, and try to clear up the situation together.
  • It is indispensable to obtain prior parental approval for purchases and orders.
• Video and TV:
  • Observe age-appropriate TV offerings.
  • No TV watching on the side when doing homework or engaging in other common activities like eating or conversations.
  • Watch TV programs and films together as a common activity and let individuals take turns in deciding which programs to watch.
• Games:
  • New games and consoles: do not acquire without previous parental agreement or adherence to an established monthly budget.
  • Observe age restrictions.
  • Parents should not simply shut down their teenagers‘ online games without affording them an opportunity to save them.
  • Observe adequate volume control.
  • Play together.
• Parents must make it clear to their teenagers: If anything looks strange to you, or if you are upset about certain content, if you are shocked or traumatized about something, if you are ashamed, or if an unknown person asks you for highly personal information, please feel free to contact me anytime!

Sample contract for using smart phones³