Secret inspections strain a bond of trust which normally exists between parents and children. The need for personal privacy grows especially during puberty, and the searches of your daughter’s personal belongings are most likely the cause for her highly resentful reaction. Instead, remain calm even when you find it difficult to do so. Try to find out first if your daughter has indeed taken drugs. Simply ask Sofia directly and confront her with your worries in the form of I-Message.
If your suspicion is confirmed, try to clarify if the drug consumption reflects a juvenile give- it-a try and testing of boundaries. If that is the case, you should not overreact but explain your position clearly and point out the dangers of drug use.
If Sofia can no longer resist drugs, and if her drug consumption is supposed to help resolve her personal problems, she may be on the road into dependency.
If this were the case, you should seek out a specialist (e.g. a personal physician or a specialist from the local addiction prevention center). Moreover, it is important to convince your daughter of the benefit of such a consultation. It may also be useful to give her an opportunity to talk with a specialist face-to-face.
It is absolutely imperative that you seek professional help if:
- you observe that your children are at risk of becoming criminals,
- accidents occur,
- the school threatens with expulsion,
- the school or the employer insist on treatment.
Here you can find tips/suggestions for a talk about drugs…
