Your daughter Marlene (13) appears to have changed in the last few days: she daydreams, withdraws frequently into her room, and receives many messages on her cell phone. By chance you overhear a phone conversation between your daughter and her best girlfriend where Marlene raves about a boy in school. You are inclined to believe that Marlene’s changed behavior has something to do with her infatuation with that boy.
Many parents believe that discussing sexuality with adolescents might lead to an awakening of desires and needs among their teens. Such talks could encourage one’s teenagers with ideas which they then might want to try out. However, this is not the case. Adolescents have many questions of their own and frequently think about their bodies and sexuality. Moreover, scientific studies have shown that well-informed adolescents have less unprotected sex, fewer unplanned pregnancies and that, in general, their first sexual intercourse occurs at a later age.
How would you deal with your daughter? Select one of the options and click on it!
Important tips for a conversation about sex with teenagers
- Take your children seriously and listen carefully to their wishes, fears and uncertainties. This reinforces a good relationship.
- Show your daughter or son that you have a sympathetic ear for them, particularly concerning the subject of sexual relations.
- Be supportive and encourage your children so that they will not be easily coerced into anything. Although most of their friends allegedly have had sex already; nowhere are exaggerations more rampant than when it comes to sexual experiences.
- Reassure your child: Sexuality is more fulfilling with increasing maturity and experience. This may alleviate stress and reduce peer pressure concerning a child’s first sexual experience.
- Discuss contraception with your teenagers in a timely manner. Condoms are the only contraceptives that prevent both unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
- Your daughter or son might perhaps enjoy reading an age-appropriate sex education book, a brochure, or a novel about the topic of first love and puberty.
How do I discuss sex with my child? Here you can find additional information/materials/videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=fGoWLWS4-kUBook recommendation: There’s No Place Like Home… for sex education (Mary Gossart) Tips and tricks for discussions and sex education at home.Everything you need to know about sexual health and sex education:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-pacific-southwest/local-education-training/parenting-programs
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/sex-and-sexualityFilms from Planned Parenthood covering all topics of sex and sex education
https://www.youtube.com/user/plannedparenthood/featuredAnimated films for teens and parents about the subject
http://amaze.org/
Recommended reading about the subject of sex education
http://birdsandbeesandkids.com/sex-education-resources-parents-kids
„Talking with kids about sex and love” is based on the following references:
1 Gnielka, Martin. Über Sexualität reden…Ein Ratgeber für Eltern zur kindlichen Sexualentwicklung zwischen Einschulung und Pubertät. Broschüre, ed.: Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung Deutschland, 43.
Gnielka, Martin. Über Sexualität reden…Ein Ratgeber für Eltern zur kindlichen Sexualentwicklung zwischen Einschulung und Pubertät. Broschüre, ed.: Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung Deutschland.
Marinka, Claudia. 2016. «Eltern, bleibt gelassen!» Das Schweizer Elternmagazin Fritz und Fränzi, Dezember. retrieved 29.11.2017.
https://www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/erziehung/sexualitat/eltern-bleibt-gelassen
Landolt, Claudia und Claudia Marinka. 2016. «Wenn die Sexualität erwacht.» Das Schweizer Elternmagazin Fritz und Fränzi, Dezember. retrieved 29.11.2017.
https://www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/erziehung/sexualitat/wenn-die-sexualitat-erwacht
National Parent Teacher Association, Chicago. 2002. Talking with kids. A Parent’s Guide to Sex Education. retrieved 20.03.2019.
https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED470698.pdf
Public Health Service Wales and Family Planning Association, London. 2012. Advice Sheet 1. How to talk to your children about sex and relationships. retrieved 16.03.2019.
http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sites3/documents/485/factsheet1_howtotalkchildrenaboutsre.pdf
