Threats, moral lectures and insinuations are not conducive to promote a trusting climate for an open dialog between you and your daughter. You must get used to the fact that your daughter begins to lead an independent life during puberty, which also includes a love life. Even when you find it difficult to show your daughter that you are always there for her during the turbulent times of puberty with its mood swings, your support is precisely what the pubescent teenager needs. Remain in the background and always be ready for chats. Encourage your daughter to listen to her own feelings as to when she is ready to engage in sex for the first time.
Many parents’s concerns about the sex life of their children are unnecessary. Although some of the adolescents experienced their first sexual intercourse at an earlier age («10% had sex before age 14»1), a third of the 17 -year olds had not had sexual intercourse. Moreover, the assumption is wrong that sex and love for adolescents no longer belong together. More than ever, today’s juveniles desire to have their first sexual experience with a person they trust and for whom they have strong feelings. Furthermore, many adolescents are fully aware of the possibility that even «first time» intercourse activities may result in a pregnancy and, therefore, they use safe contraception. Nevertheless, in talks with your teenager you should deliberately address the topic of contraception and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. What kinds of contraception methods are there? What are their advantages and disadvantages? Give your children an opportunity to inform themselves as well, be it through counseling services, a doctor’s visit, or trustworthy internet sites.
Trust your daughter or your son, and don’t feel disturbed by vague fears and preconceptions about «today’s youth».
